Sunday, June 15, 2008

It is 4:08 am. I cannot stop knitting.

Actual email sent to my coworker/friends:

Dear cowo

It is 4:08 am.
I cannot stop knitting.

The mummy-sheet* has been calling from the other room for hours and hours, warning of bugs if I don't stop and wrap myself immediately. I've been unable to heed these warnings. I haven't eaten. I am literally weak with hunger. My hands are shaking from low blood sugar.

But still, I knit.

I haven't sipped my drink. I am dehydrated. Every now and again, I gasp in an attempt to suck moisture from the air. This has proven futile.

But still, I knit.

I have given in to the reality that I cannot smoke and knit simultaneously.
The surgeon general is pleased.

About an hour ago, I pondered how useful an adult diaper would be so I wouldn't have to keep getting up to pee.

On my last trip to the bathroom I did, in fact, bring my knitting. To pee. (Think I got four stitches in while I did this. They were clearly VERY IMPORTANT stitches.)
I was annoyed that I had to pause to engage in proper post-urinatory hygiene (i.e., wipe).

If/when you see me at the office later, please be kind.

But. I did finish the sock...

* oh, this needs its own post...explanation forthcoming.

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